This post is going to be a bit different than most posts in that it has a serious tone to it.

Work has been going fine, but one conversation I had with my boss today got to me.

One of the girls I work with came back to ask him a question (about something small like which side of the table the silverware goes on) and he responded with "You're right. Never second guess yourself! You shouldn't second guess yourself, you're doing fine, you should believe in yourself mroe". After she had left, he turned to me and said "We have to build up her self esteem over the course of this summer, cuz you can just tell that she has low self esteem. I hate it when girls don't believe in themselves, because that's when they get into trouble".

Now, I agree with him somewhat about the fact that when people have low self esteem, they often make unhealthy decisions in attempts to validate themselves. However, I have a problem with the fact that he focused specifically on girls, and he was broadcasting that he thinks she had low self esteem to the girl and to her co-workers. He's only known this girl for a few weeks, and he's judging her. Even if his intent is to help her, making loud judgements about how she should or shouldn't act won't help her. In fact, if I were in her position, it would make me more self conscious.

But wait, there's more.

Then he turns to me and says "now you, I don't worry about. It's easy to see that you have confidence in yourself". and walks away.

Ok. I am a strong woman. I do have a good amount of self-confidence. BUT it has been a rough couple of weeks, and let's just say that my self esteem hasn't skyrocketed as a result.
To have someone who has known me for less than two weeks, who has only seen me in a professional setting, look me in the eyes and declare that I am self-confident was unnerving, to say the least. It's an example of how easy it is for people to not see signs of depression, or sadness, or even just a low-self-esteem week.

Looking back now, I kind of wish I had used that moment as an opportunity. I could have been honest with him and said "Well, I understand why it may seem that way, and I am certainly doing ok, but I do have clinical depression. Often depression is a hidden disease, and people certainly don't go around broadcasting to the world that they are feeling down." Because honestly, it felt like crap to realize that I could be in a bad mood, or feel down on myself, and to know with certainty that he didn't notice.

That being said, perhaps I've just learned how to put on a happy face to the point that only those who know me well know that I'm upset or down. Either way, the conversation bothered me. Oh well, not much I can do about it now.